Instant Pneumonia: An Illness Doctors Just Made Up

The following is an update to the Real Doctor's Creed. We have come upon this top secret (shared only with the medical community) information. We will continue to share these as we gain access to them. At the present time we have several spies in the medical community, making it possible to publish the Creed right here on the RT Cave. 

Doctor's Creed: Update 10/1/2022

Add the following to the pneumonia section of your booklets. Please do not publish online, as we do not want respiratory therapists to have an opportunity to hack into our esoteric wisdom. 

So, we know what pneumonia is. It is a condition caused by a virus or (usually) a bacteria. Walls of alveoli become inflamed. And this causes puss and fluid to fill alveoli. This renders the affected air exchange units less effective. And a may result here is soreness (especially with a deep breath), shortness of breath, and lowered oxygen levels. And, if severe and untreated, potential death. 

Now there is a new type of pneumonia. And it results from aspirating large doses of stomach contents. It is generally not caused by aspirating small amounts of stomach contents over time, as that would be diagnosed as GERD. But, if you aspirate large amounts of stomach contents (such as due to a drug overdose), then this is referred to as aspiration. 

A new study, one never performed by the fake left leaning scientific community, has now determined that aspiration INSTANTLY results in pneumonia. And this would help explain why we doctors are now able to diagnose patients with "Aspiration Pneumonia" instantly following aspiration. 

Respiratory therapists have often said things like: "Now, how the hell can someone develop instant pneumnonia? It usually takes time for alveolar walls to become inflamed." Or they say things like, "It should be called 'aspiration' not 'aspiration pneumonia'"

We in the medical community know better! We understand that unwanted fluid in the lungs from aspiration is "automatic" and "instant" pneumonia. Sure, there may be no inflammation right away. But, still, the aspirated contents fill alveoli meeting our definition of pneumonia. 

Besides, a consensus of doctors agrees with this author. And therefore it must be true. 

Also, insurance people love pneumonia and are willing to fully reimburse hospitals for pneumonia. So, adding the term "pneumonia" to the term "aspiration" shall guarantee the highest reimbursement potential for your patients admission. 

Real Physician's Creed

1. Page 76: The Physicians Creed, how to take care of pesky RTs
2. Page 78: The Creed: Length of therapy and ABGs
3. Page 79: Creed updated to account for EKGs
4. Page 79: Real indications for EKGs
5. Page 80: Real indications for bronchodilators
6. Page 81: Bronchodilators treat inflammation too
7. Page 82: Real Dr's Creed: Bronchodilators treat CHF too
8. Page 82: Dr's Creed: Bronchodilators now lowers Fever
9. Page 83: Dr. Creed: Ventolin increases lung tissue
10. Page 84: Dr's Creed: Beta Blockers and pulmonary fibrosis
11. Page 85: Here's how bronchodilators treat hypercapnea
12. Page 86: Here's how bronchodilators treat lung cancer
13. Page 87: Dr's.Creed: Beta agonists & unrespiratory ailments
14. Page 88: Here's how bronchodilators treat pulmonary embolisms
15. Page 91:  The feel good policy of oxygenation
16. Page 98: The Ventolin Types
17. Page 99: The noninvasive ventilation (BiPAP) creed
18. Page 122: Treatment plan for man with lung cancer
19. Page 123: Croup now treated as asthma
20. Page 767: Discharge = Serevent, Admitted = Preventolin
21. Page 2,142: Real Physician's Creed Products
22. Page 9,435: The 17 Real Indications for Tylenol
23. Page 9,436 Politics and beta adrenergics
24. Page 304,403:  The three types of pneumonia
25. Appendix: New Scrubbin-family Black Box Warning
26. Appendix 2: The Bouncing Molecule Theory
27. Appendix 3: Why order SVNs over MDIs
28. Appendix 4:  The Kreb Cycle Theory of Oxygenation
29. Appendix 8: Hypoxic Drive Hoax Revisited
30. Appendix A: How to deal with Brovana
31. Appendix B: RTs Now Required to do gun cessation programs
32. Appendix Z: Section 982: Faux Study: One Budesonide Amp should cure stridor
33. Dr. Creed Updated for Obamacare