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Monday, April 28, 2008

Treatment plan for man with a lung tumor

The following note was not found in the "Doctor's Notes" section of the patient's chart for reason that would be obvious to doctors who follow the "New Doctors Creed." It would create too many questions doctors do not want to answer if that were done, especially among RTs who think they know everything about medicine.

The following, my friends, is a note that was left on the coffee table in the doctor's lounge. Only us here at the RT Cave have access to this stuff; you will find this no where else. Trust me, you cannot make this stuff up.

Tx Plan for George GooGoohead (fake name for Hippa purposes):The mass is to be treated with CPT. This is a very delicate procedure that demands a unique approach. The idea is to percuss the mass to a manageable size, and then dislodge it so it may be safely coughed out. Great care must be taken not to dislodge the mass before it is percussed to optimal size. Any suggestion for aerosolized drugs that will help shrink the mass will be welcomed and immediately implemented (perhaps alternate treatments with Mucomyst and Atovent???). Please complete this task before I report to work Friday in the a.m.


Dr. Bighead (fake name for purposes of protecting brilliant doctor from harassment from irritated RTs in case this note is not protected properly by you guys -- God forbid.)

The following is a response to this note by another distinguished doctor:

Dr. Strictler and I ordered Q2 Aerosols and CPT to go along with the alternating Atrovent and Mucomyst aerosols that you recommended. Brilliant idea by the way. We ordered the above therapies because we believed the mass shrinking wasn't progressing fast enough. George must have gotten wind of the benefits of this new approach to lung mass removal (perhaps he had been talking with the nurses), because he's been calling for his treatments lately instead of refusing them. He now should have a much greater chance of being cured and, hopefully, of being discharged by you when you return on Friday.


Dr. Bonehead.

We here at the RT Cave hope you RTs heed this information and use it to your further understanding why such therapies on cancer treatments may be indicated and ordered by doctors of whom are definitely smarter than you, especially when it comes to respiratory therapy.

1 comment:

Glenna said...

"F*** me." That was my thought right before I dissolved into frustrated and helpless laughter.