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Friday, February 19, 2010

Dr. Creed: Ventolin increases lung tissue

Warning: What follows is top secret information surreptitiously leaked to me via one of the nations elite pulmonologists from an elite teaching hospital. Read at your own risk. This is not edited.


Page83

Section B7

It has been brought to our attention that specific arrogant and condescending respiratory therapists have questioned the use of Ventolin for the treatment of Emphysema.

It is a well known but scientifically unproven fact that Ventolin is instrumental in rebuilding connective structure of small airways, preventing the early collapse of said airways on exhalation.

The exact process of this regeneration of connective tissue is poorly understood, and in many instances appears non-existent.

However, if ventolin is given in large quantities over long periods of time (at our institution the order is written; Q forever)connective tissue does start to regenerate.

It starts in the small airways and progresses to the medium size airways and eventually may be able to completely reverse emphysema!
No more air-trapping, forced exhalation, and incessant coughing.

Unfortunately, most patients expire from the effects of emphysema before the connective tissue regeneration is able to take place. It is believed that earlier treatment and larger more frequent doses of ventolin may be able to show a more effective and faster rate of tissue regeneration.

If your RT's demonstrate a disbelieving, condescending, or apathetic attitude, then you must say to them, "give the treatment as I ordered it!" After all you are the doctor.


1 comment:

Heidi said...

"Ventolin is instrumental in rebuilding connective structure of small airways"

And pigs fly out of my butt every single night.

This guy is totally whacked.


Dun dun dun DAAAAAAAAAAAAAA VENTOLIN to the rescue!