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Friday, September 6, 2024

Priorities: Keeping Chaos at Bay

Years ago, I had a deep conversation with a patient about priorities. We weren’t discussing medications or treatment plans, but something far more foundational—how to keep life in balance.This patient, a devout Christian, had a unique way of visualizing the order of priorities in life. She held up her hand and used each finger to represent a priority.

She began by pointing to her thumb, saying, “This is God.”

Next, she pointed to her pointer finger: “This is your wife.”

Her middle finger followed: “This is your children.”

Then her ring finger: “This is other people.”

Finally, she pointed to her pinky: “This represents other things.”

The Importance of Order

Her message was simple but profound: if you keep these priorities in order, you’ll avoid chaos in your life. Order helps everything work together. Just as your thumb and fingers allow you to grip, write, and handle things, putting God in His rightful place ensures that everything else falls into alignment.

But if you mix them up, things start to fall apart. She demonstrated this physically by moving her thumb (which represented God) between her other fingers. “If you put God in the wrong place in your life, everything starts to fall apart,” she explained, and demonstrated by trying to pick up a pencil with her fingers out of alignment. The hand just couldn’t function properly.

She then continued, “If you put things before your wife,” and moved her pinky (representing "other things") between her thumb and pointer finger. “Your life—your hand—doesn’t work right. You’re asking the smallest things in life to carry the greatest weight, and they just aren’t designed for that.”

Next, she placed her middle finger (representing children) ahead of her thumb and pointer finger. “If you put your children before your spouse or God,” she said, “you’re still throwing things off. The bond between God and your spouse is what gives your children stability. If that gets messed up, your family becomes unstable.”

Finally, she placed her ring finger (representing other people) between her thumb and pointer finger. “If you prioritize other people above your spouse or family,” she said, “you end up neglecting those closest to you. You’re serving others while your own relationships weaken.”

Her message was clear: when any priority is out of order, life becomes chaotic and out of balance. However, when they are in their rightful order, your life becomes stable and harmonious.

Her analogy wasn’t just for Christians; it served as a universal reminder that prioritizing the right things leads to a more fulfilled life. By putting God (or your guiding principles) first, you establish a solid foundation. After that, your spouse, children, other people, and material things follow in their proper place, ensuring balance in your life.

This framework isn’t about achieving perfection but about being intentional. Life will inevitably fall out of balance at times, but the key is recognizing when it happens and working to realign your priorities before chaos sets in.

Whether or not you're religious, this patient’s wisdom applies to everyone. In a world full of distractions and competing demands, it’s crucial to keep your relationships and values in focus. Take a moment to reflect—are your priorities in the right order?

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