My Take On Asthma Guilt

When I was a kid I had severe asthma. And I often had trouble breathing. And mom and dad took me to the ER a lot. And sometimes I was admitted. And I am sure this was stressful on my parents. And sometimes I'm sure they wondered, "What are we doing wrong? Other parents aren't in the hospital all the time with their kids." 

I say now that I am 52 years old. I say this now that I have taken care of asthmatic kids of my own. And I say this after 25 years as a respiratory therapist. And I say this after reading many blogs by my fellow asthmatics, such as Andreas great post here. 

Andrea talks about how she felt guilty as an asthma mom. She felt that she could do better. When, in fact, she was perhaps the best asthma mom I have ever met. As an asthma dad, I don't do the charts. I am poor at remembering to take my own medicine, let alone reminding my kids to take theirs. So, heck, I'd give her an A plus grade. 

What about me as an asthma parent? How do I stack up to A plus asthma mom's like Andrea.  I had  a discussion with a friend how sometimes I get so wrapt in caring for my own ailments that I forget to help my kids with managing theirs. It's sort of an ongoing challenge for us asthmatics/asthma parents. 

Thankfully, I have one daughter who is low maintenance. She remembers to take her own medications. Although, I have a son who is like me, and he often forgets. So, if he forgets, and I forget, sure I feel guilty. He's a kid. He's my responsibility. Sure, it would be helpful if he were low maintenance like his sister. But, still, I am his dad. I am the adult in the room. So, sure, there is guilt on my part. 

What grade would I give myself? Well, I'm not going to low ball myself too much. After all, one gift my parents did not have was the give of having had it themselves I have it. So, I dote on my kids pretty much. When my kids are coughing, I am on it right away. When they are experiencing early warning signs, I'm on it right away. 

Sometimes I have stayed up all night with one of my children or another. I know what it's like to suck at breathing, so I don't want my kids to go there. So, to this point (going on 22 years as an asthma dad) I think my kids have no idea what it's like to experience severe asthma attacks -- as I have managed to help them not go there. 

So, to be fair, I'd give myself a B plus. 

What about my parents? Did they feel guilt when I was a kid. I hope that they didn't. I hope that they knew they were dong all they could to manage my rare case of horrible, high-risk asthma. It is not their fault my asthma was so severe. Gosh, have I ever said that to them? Have I thanked them for being there for me? Hmmm. I'm not sure I ever have.