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Saturday, January 25, 2014

Mentobuterol®

Drug:  Mentobuterol

Manufacturer:  MentoCase® Pharmaceuticals

Symptom:  Altered mental status

Diagnosis:  Dementia, CVA/stroke, hematoma, hemorrhage, concussion, traumatic brain injury, delirium, seizures, tumors, myocardial infarction, heart failure, pulmonary embolism, hypoxia, carbon monoxide poisoning, acute psychosis (delusions, hallucinations, bipolar, uremia, hypothermia, hypercarbia, hepatic encephalopathy, hyperthermia, hypoglycemia, hyperglycemia, hypercalcemia, hypocalcemia, ketoacidosis, alcohol withdrawal, detoxificatoin, unrecognized head injury, pituitary apoplexy, meningitis, acute systemic infections, cholecystitis, pneumonia, brain abscess, urinary tract infection, sepsis, hypotension, and hypertension. It may also result from overdose of anticholinergics, sympathomimetics, antihistamines, antiemetics, opioids, antiparkinsonian medications, antispasmodics, and alcohol. Illicit drugs such as opiates, amphetamines, cocaine, and hallucinogens are frequently implicated. Withdrawal from alcohol and sedatives can also precipitate changes in mental function.

Frequency:  One time in the emergency room, and then, if admitted, Q4-6

Effect:  Mentobuterol is an electrically charged mutation created from stem cells that acts as a brain impulse and can be substituted for any neurotransmitter. Once it makes it's way into the myelin sheaths, and is transported from the brain to body part, it scrubs and cleans, and leaves behind a soothing, soapy-like substance that helps regenerate nerve parts, including sheaths, synapsississessess (idiot word for synapse), and even the neurotransmitters themselves. Note: Not to be confused with Menthobuterol®, which leaves behind a calm, soothing, peppermint, waxy, crystaline substance that takes away the craving for a cigarette and leaves the patient feeling pepperminted up.

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