Dr. Creed: Here's how bronchodilators treat lung cancer

The scrubbin bubblin powers of Albuterol have been proven to scrub away all ailments in the lungs, except cancer.  However, the soothing soap like substance left behind following subsequent breathing treatments has been proven to decrease the spread of cancer.

Internist Richard Funk reported to the 53rd annual meeting of the International Conference of the Real Doctor's Creed Association of America that it has been discovered that cancer cells generate certain molecular interactions between cells and the scaffolding that holds them in place (extracellular matrix) cause them to become unstuck at the original tumor site, they become dislodged, move on and then reattach themselves at a new site.  He said this is a significant finding because only 10% of cancer deaths are caused by the primary tumor.

Dr. Funk likewise reported that a new theory proposed by himself is that a residue is left in the lungs after a good washing by ventolin scrubbin bubblin foaming action (a.k.a. albuterol).  The coating remains in the lungs for up to four hours, which is why it is very important that lung cancer patients receive ventolin therapy every four hours even when there is no evidence of bronchospasm.  

Cancer cells will still become unstuck from the original tumor site, yet the residue that now coats the cancer cells that are dislodged will not adhere to other places around the body.  This will help to prevent metastatic cancer.  This new theory, if it is true (which we know it has to be because it sounds good), will allow time for physicians to better treat the primary cancer.

Dr. Funk said that scientists from the Massachusetts Institute of Technology say that finding a way to stop cancer cells from sticking to new sites could interfere with metastatic disease, and halt the growth of secondary tumors.

Dr. Funk said the findings are especially important considering the medical community has believed for years that MalaNOmolin would get rid of cancer, as noted below from page 87 of the Real Physician's Creed:

Any Cancer: So you've tried everything, it's time to start the bronchodilator melaNOmolin regime you've tried for every other illness. Bronchodilator properties are known to break up unwanted tissue, at which time it is absorbed by Ventolin particles in the blood stream, screened by renal tissue, and excreted out the urethra. Note: see #6 below. It's important here to keep the renal system in tip top shape

Despite the application of melaNOmolin to lung tissue, cancer morbidity and mortality persists.
In 2007, cancer claimed the lives of about 7.6 million people in the world. Physicians and researchers who specialize in the study, diagnosis, treatment, and prevention of cancer are called oncologists.

Malignant cells are more agile than non-malignant ones - scientists from the Physical Sciences-Oncology Centers, USA, reported in the journal Scientific Reports (April 2013 issue) that malignant cells are much “nimbler” than non-malignant ones. Malignant cells can pass more easily through smaller gaps, as well as applying a much greater force on their environment compared to other cells.

Professor Robert Olin and team created a new catalogue of the physical and chemical features of cancerous cells with over 100 scientists from 20 different centers across the United States.

The authors believe their catalogue will help oncologists detect cancerous cells in patients early on, thus preventing the spread of the disease to other parts of the body.  The addition of ventolin scrubbin bubblin thereapy QID will further aid in the preventing of the spread of this disease.

Dr. Olin said "By bringing together different types of experimental and made up theories by intelligent Internists, expertise to systematically compare metastatic and non-metastatic cells, we have advanced our knowledge of how metastasis occurs and how to prevent it."

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