Fake Hospital Advertisement

So my idea wasn't so well accepted by the admins.  We were asked to come up with ideas to market our hospital, and this was mine:

At Fake Medical Center our doctors are ranked in the top 1% of hospitals nationwide.  Our doctors are the best at making sure you'll get the unnecessary procedures needed to make sure your insurance will reimburse us.  Surely you can feel comfort in knowing you won't have to leave town to get the care you need coupled with the care you don't need.  We are just as good at making you think it was your decision as our competition.  

Fake Medical Center's physicians are fully certified and understand the Real Physician's Creed, which assures all the bases of care will be covered.  Yes, by using our services we'll throw every thing at your condition knowing that something will eventually work, and knowing you'll eventually be discharged.  No worries about getting better, and no worries about us getting reimbursed for your stay. 

For more information call 555-555-5555 or visit our website at fakemedicalcenter.com

I thought it was pretty good.  Thoughts. 

Note:  This post was made all in good fun, and no real feelings were hurt during the making of this fake ad for a fake hospital (you know, a hospital that doesn't exist.)