One of the things I've noticed this summer is that my role as a dad is changing.
When my kids were little, I was the entertainer. Every summer I was looking for things to do with them. We'd go to the beach, the pool, playgrounds, Silver Lake, visit my parents, or just find something to get us out of the house. I genuinely enjoyed it. Looking back, some of my favorite memories are simply spending time with my kids.
Now my daughter is seventeen. This summer she's already gone to four different camps, and she has another one coming up. Half the summer is already over, and she's busy living her own life. Today she finally had an afternoon without anything planned, so I texted her and asked if she wanted to go to the pool.
A little while later she replied, "Dad, can I go to a movie at four with my friends?"
What struck me wasn't that she wanted to go to the movie. It was that she hadn't even seen my text because she had been talking with her friends. She was completely absorbed in her own world.
And I thought, that's exactly what a seventeen-year-old is supposed to be doing.
It made me realize that I don't really have to entertain her anymore. That chapter is coming to an end. Instead of being the entertainer, I'm becoming home base. I'm the person she checks in with before she goes somewhere. I'm the place she comes home to afterward. That's a different role than I had ten years ago, but it's not a bad one.
Sure, there's a little sadness in it. I miss the little girl who always wanted to spend the day with Dad. At the same time, I'm happy for her. She's making friends, she's becoming independent, and she's building a life of her own. That's exactly what I've wanted for her all along.
The funny thing is, this change gives me something too. I have more time to work on projects that I've put off for years. I'm writing my memoir. I have more time to spend with friends. I have time to pursue interests that were harder to fit into life when my weekends revolved around entertaining the kids.
Every stage of parenting has been enjoyable in its own way. I loved being the entertainer. I think I'm going to enjoy being home base too.
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