Doctors and nurses may be confused… but we know.
If you’ve been around long enough in respiratory care, you start to realize something. Not everything we do is about the medication. Not every treatment fixes what it’s supposed to fix. And sometimes, what actually helps isn’t written anywhere in the order set.
That’s where these come from.
They’re absurd on the surface—but like most good respiratory humor, there’s a little truth hiding underneath.
PALBUTEROL
The medicine may have no effect…
But the company of an RT will.
We’ve all been there.
Treatment ordered. You show up. You assess. You listen. You already know—this isn’t going to change much.
But you stay anyway.
You talk. You reassure. You adjust a pillow. You tweak the oxygen just enough. And somehow… things settle down.
Was it the treatment?
Maybe.
But probably not.
ALLBETEROL
I think that’s all she needs.
There’s a moment in certain rooms where you realize everything doesn’t need to be escalated.
Not every patient needs more machines. More pressure. More noise.
Sometimes they just need someone who knows what they’re looking at… and isn’t panicking.
KNOWBETTEROL
For when you already know… before anyone else does.
You walk in.
Before the chart loads. Before the vitals cycle. Before anyone finishes explaining.
You already have a pretty good idea what’s going on.
Experience does that.
DEEPBREATHEROL
Side effects may include hearing things that weren’t there before.
“Take a deep breath.”
And just like that… crackles, rhonchi, noises everywhere.
Funny how that works.
ORDEROL
Prescribed every four hours… whether it’s needed or not.
No explanation needed.
The Point (Sort Of)
I’ll explain the Real Physician’s Creed more in a future post.
But the short version is this:
It’s not about making fun of doctors. It’s about pointing out the absurdity we sometimes see in medicine… by being just as absurd.
Because if you’ve worked in a hospital long enough, you know—
Some of the most ridiculous things we joke about
aren’t that far from reality.
And sometimes the difference between chaos and calm
isn’t another order…
…it’s just the right person walking into the room.
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