COVID Depression

I gowned up, put on my gloves, N-95 mask, and face shield. And I entered her room. And I said, "Hi, I'm John from respiratory. I have inhalers for you!" 

And then I looked up to see that the patient was sobbing like a child missing her mommy. Her eyes were red and wet. Tears were dribbling down her rosy red and aged cheeks. And she said, "I just wanna go home." 

"I'm sorry, ma'am. Have you been here a long time?" I said. 

She sobbed, "I just wanna go home."

"Would you like me to skip your inhalers this morning?" I said, not knowing what else to say to soothe this lady. 

She said, "I will take my inhalers.I take the rescue inhaler and Advair at home." 

I prepared her inhalers. And she inhaled her medicine, with assistance. And she said, again, "I just wanna go home." 

I have seen this more than once amid this COVID pandemic. 

I checked her oxygen saturation. It was a healthy 96%. And I saw that she was only on 6 LPM. So I cranked it down to 5 LPM. And I said, "Your oxygen is doing really well. You look good as far as I'm concerned. If I see your doctor, I will have him come see you. Does that sound good?" 

"Yes." she said, and repeated what she truly wanted: "I just wanna go home." 

For many reasons COVID patients become depressed. They fear it will get worse. They fear it will kill them. They are lonely. They miss their loved ones. They miss their cat or dog. They miss their home. They are unable to have visitors because everyone else in their home has COVID. They are worried about their loved ones. Earlier on, they weren't allowed to have visitors period. So, there are many reasons for COVID depression. 

Most patients do not cry. Most are humble and patient. But, as they lie in bed day after day, and sometimes with the increasing need for oxygen, the depression creeps in. I can certainly empathize with them. And there really isn't much I can do other than sit in a chair and talk to them. And this, I think, helps. 

Although, quite often I am too busy to sit and talk. And this is because of COVID too. And this may be another contributing factor to COVID depression. 

So, I tend to their needs as best I can. I ask questions like, "Is there anything I can get for you? Is there anything you need?" Although, if I can, and despite sweating under the mask, I sit and visit. And I find that my patients love this. It's not like having family and friends. But, here in the hospital among COVID, this is all I have to offer.