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Saturday, April 16, 2011

Dr's Creed: Why order SVNs over MDIs


NOTICE TO ALL DOCTORS

Memo: Aerosolized SVNs preferred over MDIs

Date: May 15, 1963

I would like to inform all physicians that magnetic forces inside the walls of all hospitals within the United States make it so aerosolized bronchodilator particles from metered dose inhalers (MDIs) does not make it into the lungs.

Instead, the magnetic force pulls on the aerosolized particles due to the propellant used to make the spray. This kind of makes the aerosolized particles kind of float in the large airways.

To remedy this "problem," bronchodilators should only be given in pure form, and this can only be accomplished with aerosolized medicine via small volume nebulizers (SVNs). Thus, all patients who need bronchodilator therapy while admitted to the hospital should be prescribed the nebulized version even if they are fully capable of using an MDI.

A fortunate side effect of this is it causes respiratory therapists to do more work, and has a tendency to cause RT burnout and apathy. We've decided this is good because if their apathetic and burned out they will be less likely to bother us.

Once the patient is discharged from the hospital the magnetic force no longer has an effect on the MDI spray, and, at least according to most studies performed, the MDI and Aerosolized bronchodilator therapy have a similar efficacy.

Please assure this policy is followed at your facility

Sincerely,

Dr. Al Buterol

Infernal Medicine

Weiners University of Cyanosis

Chairman, PSECOTIC

Physicians (who) Swear Effective Clinical Oxygen Therapy Increases Carbon dioxide


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