The good and ridiculous of TV

“You must lose weight, lots of weight, or you will die within a year.”

That’s the good.

Okay, so it’s not so good if you are the one being told this by your doctor. But it is good for America that this 750 pound man is allowing TLC to do a documentary on him so kids have a chance to see up close how much life sucks when you don’t take care of your body.

I also love the show my wife calls, “the fat people show.” More accurately, I think that would be “The Biggest Loser.”

On this show, a bunch of really fat people get together on a ranch with a couple trainers and literally work their asses off trying to lose that weight. This show is great because the fat people don’t get to cheat by taking pills, getting liposuction, or any of the weight loss surgeries like gastric bypass (I'm not implying those things are bad).

Nope. They all lose their weight the old fashioned way: they work it off. They diet, they run, they lift weights, they run up steps and hills.

I like documentaries like “Hogan Knows Best” and “The Ozbournes.” I don’t want my kids to grow up and be like them, and that’s why I want my kids to watch these shows. The way the Ozbourne kid’s treat their parents is pathetic, especially with their f-this and f-that’s.

And the way Ozzie acts is a reason #1 not to do drugs.

Likewise, watching the greatest wrester of all time running around his neighborhood chasing noisy dogs and complaining about his neighbor’s complaining about the noisy dogs makes the champ look like a retard. All the more reason not to become rich and famous and have too much time on your hand.

Hello. Get rid of the dogs.

Speaking of too much time, look at how spoiled some of these Hollywood actors have become. If having spoiled rich actors and singers on the headline news instead of actual news is drawing young kids to the news, then great. I want my kids to see what happens when you don’t take responsibility for your actions.

Did you see Paris Hilton crying when she was told she had to go BACK to jail. Look, driving drunk is bad. Driving drunk a second time is even worse. And, just because you are a rich celebrity is no reason for you to get away with breaking parole.

Grow up Paris. Yes. I want my kids to hear about what she did, and see how stupid she looks when she’s acting like the spoiled brat she is.

American Idol is good for America. I love Simon Cowell. I know many people say they hate him because he is “so mean.” But, all he’s doing is telling these kids what their mommies and daddies should have told them long ago, “You can’t sing.”

American Idol is exactly what happens when teachers use positive reinforcement rather than simply telling kids the truth. I mean, when you get a job and you suck at it, what boss is going to say, “Well, you got all the mail delivered to all the wrong mailboxes, but, hey, you at least tried. I’m confident you’ll do better tomorrow.

Heck no. You are fired.

You can have "feelings" for the people who hear that on Donald Trump’s show, but it’s good practice for the real world.

The Real World on MTV is about the dumbest show on earth, but its still a good lesson on how not to live.

The History Channel is awesome. So too is Discovery, National Geographic, The Animal Network, and all the news networks, even if they are bias. Hey, at least you can’t help learning something from watching any of these channels.

Kids cannot go wrong with the Cartoon Network, Nick and Disney. Sure, Sponge Bob Square Pants may not be all that education, but neither was Bugs Bunny when I was a kid and we still enjoyed it. Speaking of Bugs, has he finally gone off the air?

Square Pants is criticized today like Bugs was in the 1940s when a conservative America complained about too many guns and falling from high cliffs.

While the cartoon networks are good clean fun for kids, so to are ESPN and Fox Sports for adults -- and kids too. When I was a kid I craved to watch all the Tiger games, and instead had to listen to the great Ernie and Paul. Not that I didn’t like Ernie and Paul, but TV is so much better.

I even like the Food Network, because my wife loves to cook. And, I’m getting fatter by the day because of it. Gosh, I suppose, the way my belt is tightening up, I might be my own good example for my kids of what not to do.

The ridiculous would be MTV. What ever happened to the M part. You know what I mean. They used to play music 24-7 when I was a kid.

Any gossip channel is ridiculous. CSPAN is great, but so boring it’s not something anybody would waste their time watching. Why not simply watch a news network to learn the same thing. Okay, so the news network is bias. Well, if you have the time, go for it.

The CBS, ABC and NBC evening news. Why do we need them anymore?

I don’t want to dwell on the ridiculous, because so many people do this all day, and it gets old.

But I think you get my drift.

Let’s get back to the good.

TLC, I think it was TLC, had a show my daughter calls “The baby show.” You know, it’s the one they show women having babies. In the information age, you can’t keep things from your kids the way my parents did.

I let her have the remote, and all of a sudden she’s watching an this adult show. I mean, not just one day, but every day.

“Want me to turn the channel for you?”

“Now, I like this.”

Okay, no big deal. I think.

Later that night:

“Spread your legs apart, Mommy, and let my baby sissa out.”

I suppose, in the old days, we’d be concerned about all this.

Not in 2007.