New Study: Xoponex now a humidifier

Okay, this is about crazy, but Dr. Krane called me back down to ER to do another treatment on a baby with a cold. The order read: Xoponex low dose.  Okay, so I'm making this up, there is no Doctor Krane.  She is a figment of my imagination.  She is a composition doctor I made up.  But if you're an RT of any duration, you probably have met her.

Like many of you guys, I grumbled to myself of how little medicine gets to a baby during a blowby treatment to begin with, let alone when using a low dose of albuterol. But I kept my mouth shut and gave the treatment.

The baby hated me. She wailed and kicked and screamed until I gave up and gave the neb to the dad. The kid smiled. I was stupid to even try to give it on my own, I should have had dad do it from the start. My bad.  To my credit, however, most kids take treatments great.  Sometimes, however, we RTs have to get creative.

Unable to assess the baby, I watched it's breathing. There were no signs of respiratory distress.  I was essentially giving this treatment to satisfy the physician, and to make the patient's parent's think we were doing something.  I understand, however, that this time of placebo is common in medicine.  In fact, studies even show that the placebo effect amazingly cures ailments, including parental stress, in about 50 percent of cases that it's tried.

After the treatment I approached Dr. Krane.  I said:  "So, what kind of assessment did you get on this child, because she didn't like me too much."

"Oh," Dr. K said, "she was really clear down below, but up in her throat I heard a little croupy sound."

She thought a second, then continued, "Basically I just wanted her to have the humidity for her throat."

Humidity for her throat?  Did she actually say that?

"Thank you."  I said.  "I just wanted to be able to chart something."

HUMIDITY FOR THE THROAT? 

I thought I was up to date on all the latest research.  

Upon doing furher research, I found the following from my anonymous source, which actually made Dr. K. look pretty good.

New medical study shows a low dose of ventolin, once it enters the throat, enlarges to 10 microns and turns into steam. The medicine then coats the cells within the throat and soothes them. Persistent croup is not an indicator of ineffectiveness.

This new version of Xoponex is called Humidonex. To see more frivolous ventolin therapies click here.