Alcurital.for clear lungsounds

The following is an advertisement for Ventolin:

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Alcurital
Are you sick of being sick?
Are you sick of being sick?
Are you sick of being sick?
Well,then ask your doctor about
Alcurital
This is the only medicine
clinically not proven
but believed to
by nurses and...
doctors (yes, doctors)
to cure all that ails you
And best of all
It works even when
You have clear lungsounds
Hence the name:
Alcurital

Alcurital.for clear lungsounds.  Side effects include anxiety, nervousness, headache, increased heart rate, death if consume more than 55 miligrams in a day, boredom, pissy RTs.  However, studies show the medicine cures all ailments, but it has no effect on stupidity.  Do not use if you have a wise physician or nurse  Not expected to result in increased brain cells.  Not expected to prevent accidents. While it can be used prophylactically, it will not prevent all ailments.  Don't worry, as no studies were done to come to any of these conclusions, it's simply based on feel good: it looks good, sounds good, feels good, then it is a fact.  One study of 100 post op patients given Alcurital  eventually recovered, so now it only makes sense that it works.