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Saturday, March 24, 2012

Dr's Creed: Aerosolized Medication Storage

Memo:  Aerosolized Medication Storage
From:  Dr. Sloof Lirpa, Medical Director
To:  Dr. Glenn Tolin, Director of Cardiopulmonary Services
Date:  May 21, 2011

We have decided that due to new policies set forth by healthcare regulation authorities, all aerosolized medication must be locked up from now on until it is needed for use on a patient.  At no point must an RT carry aerosolized medication on his posession.  In other words, they can't be trusted.

Ventolin needs to be locked up because.... it is such a dangerous medication.  In the wrong hands it could cause serious problems, such as increased mental acuity.  In the hands of the wrong person this could result in dangerous consequences.

God forbit the wrong person catch his breath.  God forbid an RT have an extra vial of Ventolin in his or her pocket.  God forbid RTs walk 20 miles a day as it is, and if we can increase that all the better.  This new policy will force RTs to add another 10 miles to their daily journies.  That will be good as it will help shut them up. 

Likewise, if we can make them walk far to the pyxis between every patient this will help burn them out so they don't feel like annoying us with stupid RT wisdom.  This RT burnout is an anticipated bonus to locking aerosolized medicine up. 

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