Merry Christmas Hospital Style

It's nice to simply spend a day at home with the family. For the first time in 10 years I actually get both Christmas and Christmas Eve off this year.

Yet, lo and behold, one of my coworkers got kicked in the neck by a patient with a CO2 of 133, and I was called in a panic to come in and help out. My daughter was sad that I had to leave just before she was to open her gifts from the in-laws, yet I wasn't going to leave my coworkers stranded. I suppose, in a way, sacrificing my family Christmas time was my Christmas gift to Shoreline Medical. I was told I might as well plan on staying the night. My daughter frowned when I told her this news.

My coworker said she was kicked in the neck with a knee as she inserted the needle, and as she flipped the syringe under the bed, she was kicked on the other side of the neck with the other knee. Now she's in the ER while I take care of that crashing patient, and another, and another. And the other RT was in the ER taking care of yet another crashing patient. Merry Christmas indeed.

Of course as soon as I blessed the hospital with my presence all was well. My coworker was cleared of any neck ailments, and will be sore a few days and nothing more. The patient who kicked her was out of his gourd at the time, and is now on BiPAP and slowly coming to his senses. Yet I hope God's Christmas present to him is that he learn to quit being a MODEST COPDer. You know the type: they wait, and wait, and wait, and wait, thinking they will eventually get better. Yet it rarely ever happens. So they come to the ER by ambulance and become our problem.

It seems like every Christmas we get our share of MODEST lungers. Another Christmas gift we get from the community are Lonely-DEPRESSED lungers. These are the folks who are lonely around the season and come to the hospital for their annual dose of PAL-buterol. They just yearn for the company of your humble RTs.

Then you also have your dose of Break-lungers. These are they folks who's family needs a vacation from them, and they somehow -- coincidentally -- end up with fake pneumonia just in time for the holidays.

Of course we also get our share of post Christmas dinner heart attacks. Thankfully our hospital doesn't keep these folks anymore, and ships them to the cardiac hospital down state . Although if that heart attack is massive enough, our services come in handy.

It's neat how things work out this time of year. It's also neat that we have such a great team where I work, and we have good folks like you nd me who put our own selfish desires aside for the benefit of the community and spend time working.

Christmas is a time for sharing. It's a time for giving. It's a time for family. Yet, thankfully, the medical community does not close shop come Holiday time. We are available 24-7 to provide whatever services we offer. We help those who help themselves, and we help those who do not help themselves. We help the needy, and we help the fakers. That's what we do.

Thankfully we staved off the need for any intubations, and all those patients mentioned above are now fine. That, I imagine, was Gods gift to them. Within an hour after I clocked in I clocked out. My daughter smiled big time when I came through the door. She told me in less than 30 seconds all the neat little toys she got from her uncles, aunts and grandparents.