Today I had an EGD done. EGD is short for esophagogastroduodenoscopy. In lamens terms, that would be where they put a scope into your mouth and look at your esophagus and stomach. It's a procedure I highly recommend every body get at least once a year.
Okay, so I'm kidding on that last part. However, they give you some very cool drugs, your world goes all frizzy and then you are out. And then, what seems like mere seconds later, but is actually a half hour later, you wake up to someone saying, "It's all over."
"Already," I say. "Wow, that was awesome."
The best part about it is the medicine lasts the whole rest of the day, so, I am stoned as I write this. How cool is that. So if something I write here is totally out of character for me, or if I start telling you stories that you never thought would come out of my mouth, well, it's not me it's the great drugs.
What the heck was that drug they used anyway. I think it was Versed, but I always seem to get that one mixed up with Valium.
I had a GI bleed in December so bad I lost about a quarter of my blood. When I had my EGD back then my wife said I was completely obnoxious as they were wheeling me out of the surgery room. She said I said something like, "You guys are awesome. I give you all a ten. Except Dr. Autry: I give him a twenty."
She said I was loud too. I didn't care, because those drugs are awesome. Did I say that already.
And just before I left the hospital the RN told me not to go on the Internet. She said she's heard stories of people doing things they regret, such as running up a debt and not remembering doing it.
Well, I'm still writing. The funny thing is this: First I was just writing along and I was half way through a sentence and somehow this story was published. I don't even know how I did it, but it was published.
Then, five minutes later I finished this post up, and published the final version. Then I realized that I posted it on the wrong blog. So I deleted it and put it here where it belongs.
That's not the dumbest thing I've ever done, but it gets put on the list of dumb things I've done.
I don't think I did anything else I'll regret on the Internet today, at least I don't remember if I did, at least I don't remember if I did.