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Friday, August 7, 2009

Creed: Croup now to be treated as asthma

I couldn't help getting frustrated the other night as one of my infamous ER doctors ordered Q30 minute breathing treatments for a croupy kid. Since I'm having a much better night tonight I decided to do some research and found nothing on the Internet.

For some reason I gallivanted down to the physicians lounge, and lo and behold what do I find? Sitting right there on the end table next to a couch in all it's fresh white with blue letters naked glory was letter written to one of our physicians.

Here is what the letter said:

From: Dr. Hein Olin
Sent: Thursday, July 30, 2009, 4:50 P.M.
To: Shoreline Medical Physicians
Subject: New changes to the Real Physicians Creed

As you guys and gals were informed in my last memo, the 2010 edition of the Real Physician's Creed has already gone to print. Since we don't want you to wait until next year to implement the new changes and recommendations, and since we know you want to continue to piss those pesky RT varmints with new "stupid" (snicker) doctor orders, I am sending this memo to inform you of the latest change and recommendation.

In the past we recommended treating croup as inflammation of muscles in throat and give the patient racemic epinepherine. We now recommend you change that old habit. What we want you to do now is treat all croup as asthma. Likewise, we recommend you give Pedonephrine once, followed by Croupenex Q30 minutes X 4. If after four Crouponex treatments stridor persists, follow this with one dose of Pedonephrine RN, and then Q30 minute Croupenex until discharge.

If that don't get them riled up nothing will.

Thank you for your consideration. Good luck irritating 'em. Maybe you'll even get one of 'em to roll their eyes at you.

Hein Olin DO
Vice President Real Physicians Creed Association

Well, there you have it. This pretty much clears up the recent trend toward Xopenex for croup.
Those doctors are on to our frustration and are trying to dig a deeper wound. I think it's time we take a stand.
Thanks to my secret sources, I now have the definition of the medicines listed in the above letter. In the next few days I will list them in the Ventolin Types section at the top of this blog.

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