But the more I think about some of these expressions, the more I wonder what they actually mean.
Here are five that I'm particularly tired of hearing.
1. "You've Hit Rock Bottom."
No, you haven't.
As far as I'm concerned, rock bottom is death. As long as you're alive, you're still above the bottom.
I understand what people are trying to say. They're suggesting that someone has reached a point where things can't possibly get any worse.
But things can always get worse.
And why should someone have to hit rock bottom before doing something to improve their situation?
If you're drinking too much, eating too much, spending too much money, or neglecting your health, why wait until you've lost everything?
You don't have to hit rock bottom to recognize that something isn't working.
2. "I Want to Make a Difference."
Well, congratulations.
Even Hitler wanted to make a difference.
And he certainly did.
My point is that making a difference isn't necessarily a good thing. It depends entirely on what kind of difference you're trying to make.
People say this phrase as though the intention alone makes them admirable.
But what are you actually trying to accomplish? Who benefits? And how?
Those are the questions I'd rather hear answered.
3. "I Hope Things Get Better."
I hear this one all the time.
Someone complains about their job, their finances, their health, or their personal life, and someone responds, "Well, I hope things get better."
Okay. But what is hope going to accomplish?
You can sit around hoping to lose weight, hoping to get in shape, hoping to save money, or hoping to find a better job.
Meanwhile, nothing happens.
I'm not saying hope is necessarily bad. Hope can give someone a reason to keep going.
But hope without action doesn't accomplish much.
If you want something to improve, you have to do something about it.
4. "You Need to Make a Change."
This might be my favorite.
Make a change.
Okay.
Change what?
What exactly am I supposed to do differently?
If someone tells me I need to make a change, I want them to define what they're talking about.
Let's say I want to improve my health.
Telling me to make a change doesn't tell me anything.
But telling me to stop buying whiskey, prepare more meals at home, establish an exercise routine, or set aside time for physical activity gives me something specific to work with.
Those are actions.
"Make a change" is just a collection of words until somebody explains what the change is supposed to be.
5. "Your Feelings Matter."
Or its close relatives:
"What you're thinking matters."
"Your opinion matters."
"That matters."
What the heck does that mean?
Matters to whom?
And what exactly am I supposed to do with that information?
I understand that people usually say these things because they're trying to be supportive. They want someone to feel heard or understood.
That's fine.
But sometimes these expressions become substitutes for actually listening.
If I tell someone I'm struggling with something, I'd rather have them ask me a thoughtful question or offer a useful observation than simply tell me my feelings matter.
Tell me what you think about what I've said. Challenge me if you disagree. Help me understand something I might be overlooking.
Just don't give me a meaningless expression and expect me to feel better.
So What's My Point?
I'm not against encouragement, compassion, or positive thinking.
I'm against empty phrases that sound good but accomplish nothing.
Sometimes people repeat these expressions so often that they stop thinking about what they're actually saying.
And perhaps that's what bothers me most.
If someone is struggling, they don't necessarily need another inspirational slogan.
They might need a good conversation. They might need practical advice. They might need someone willing to listen carefully enough to understand the actual problem.
And sometimes they need someone willing to tell them something they don't want to hear.
But whatever you say, give it some thought.
Because words are easy. Doing something useful with them is another story.
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