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Thursday, July 1, 2010

Goofus parents

Sorry, but I couldn't think of a better term for the pediatric patient who comes into the emergency room smelling like rotten eggs and sucking in air because the parents are dumb. If you've ever worked in a hospital, or work with people, you know exactly what I'm referring to.

I think of these patients as the victims of stupidity. Allow me to describe the dumb a$$ parent to a tee. Help me out here in the comments if you will:
  1. The parents smoke and say
  2. "But I smoke outside." Yet you know that's not true because the kid smells like a cigarette factory
  3. The parents are filthy and so is the child
  4. The parents and child smell like socks just expectorated from a sweaty shoe
  5. The kid is a frequent flier to the ER
  6. The child has a nebulizer at home but no meds to go with it
  7. The child has no doctor.
  8. The child is hyper and cries a lot due to poor discipline
  9. The child is diagnosed with a disease like asthma yet has no preventative meds
  10. The parents have some'er teeth and so do some of these kids (some 'er ther' sum 'ern't)
  11. No matter how old the child, he always has a bottle of milk or juice
  12. The kid's often wear winter clothing regardless of season, either that or...
  13. They are under dressed or running around in a diaper
  14. The child is extra hyper, especially after the breathing treatment
  15. The child often runs around the dirty floor barefoot
  16. He drops his pacifier on the dirty floor and the parents lick it off and plug it right back in.
  17. Quite often there's Pepsi in the bottle
  18. The kid has never seen a fresh fruit, which explains the inexplicable look when you offer them a banana

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Are you sure that you're not at my hospital in Cincinnati. If I had a nickel for every time I've seen this then I could have retired a long time ago (Even with the economy being what it is).