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Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Have another donut Mr. Respiratory Therapist

"Have a donut." My coworker Dee slouches back in her chair, apparently exhausted after a long, busy day.

"No, I'm trying to stay fit." I grab the worksheet and sit down.

"Oh, come on, one donut won't hurt."

"Well, I suppose just one." There goes my diet. "You have a pen."

Dee reaches into her pocket, yanks out a pen, and hands it to me. "You'd think people who work in a hospital would be among the healthiest, most fit people in the world."

"I don't want your favorite pen," I said with a mouth stuffed with donut,

"I don't care. I just want to get out of here."

"Oh, well I can tell you from personal experience working in a hospital makes it impossible to stay healthy."

"Why do you say impossible?"

"Well, I get to work and you offer me a donut. Last night In ER they insist I eat the chili and apple pie in the break room. Then I go up to North and they insist I have some sloppy joes and chips, and then I go to CCU and I'm offered more food.

"Oh, I see what you mean."

"And that's not even mentioning the candy jar Jerry keeps filled in her office. And then I go into Mrs. Roger's room and she insists I take a handful of candy bars. In fact, not only does she insist I take some, but she insists I eat one in front of her. And how the hell do you say no to one of your sweetest patients?"

"And this isn't even a Holiday."

"There's no hope of dieting within a month of a Holiday around here. I try every year. In fact, I'm trying right now. The Halloween candy is already out and about. And then comes Halloween and New Years."

"True. And look around at all the overweight people working here. Well, you're not, but I certainly am."

"What do you mean I'm not fat. Look at me. I've been working out the past 5 weeks and I'm still 20 pounds overweight. In fact, I've lost 30 pounds or more 4 times since I got hired here, and every time I gained it all back.


"Yeah. I'm telling you, it's impossible to lose weight in a hospital."

"Want a piece of chocolate?" She slides the box across the table.

I grab one " Okay, now give me some times so you can get out of this unhealthy place."

"Sure, and then you can eat that last donut."

"Oh, you know I will, right after I visit Mrs. Rogers."

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