Dr. Creed: Albuterol decreases work of heart

Warning: What follows is top secret information surreptitiously leaked to me via one of the nations elite pulmonologists from an elite teaching hospital. Read at your own risk. This is not edited, yet explains the reason for needless bronchodilator for patients with no respiratory disorders.

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Section B8

Surely we are aware that beta adrenergics, once inhaled, attach to beta receptors lining the respiratory tract.  If a patient is extremely dyspneic this may in itself reduce the work of heart.  Yet we must exceed biases and understand that such a medicine may reduce the work of heart in patients breathing normal as well.

Once the beta adrenergics are filled to capacity excess albuterol molecules are absorbed into the capillaries and are carried to the heart where they attach to beta 2 receptors.  Unbeknownsed to science, these receptors, once stimulated, relax cardiac muscle and, thus, reduce work of heart.

Indications for such therapy are as follows:

1. Chest pain
2. Suspected chest pain
3. Mycardial infarction
4. Stroke
5. Stroke symptoms
6. Suspected stroke symptoms
7. Heart disease
8. COPD
9. Heart failure
10. Cor pulmonale
11. Syncope
12. Heart disease
13. Family history of heart disease
14. Past cardiac complications

Based on this new "fact," physicians must be taught to place all patients with the above indications on supplemental oxygen as well.