slideshow widget

Monday, December 20, 2010

Christmas list for asthmatics

Merry Christmas. The following is my Christmas list I published at

A Pragmatic Asthmatic’s Christmas Wish List
by Rick Frea Friday, December 18, 2009 @

Asthma-like symptoms have been recorded in the annals of history for well over 5,000 years. So it’s about time we asthmatics caught a break, and maybe even a cure. With that in mind, I created the following Christmas wish list for the benefit of all of our kids -- and us.

Dear Santa: The following are some pragmatic things we humble asthmatics wish to find under our Christmas trees.

1. Hygiene vaccine: A relatively new hypothesis (the hygiene hypothesis) proposes that asthma is acquired because those of us with the asthma gene are not exposed to enough germs for our immune systems to develop normally, and, thus, asthma is the result. This vaccine would expose our kids to the germs they require to develop normal immune systems and, therefore, prevent asthma. This would not cure our asthma, but it would prevent most of our kids from developing it.

2. One-Puff: I don’t know about other asthmatics, but I get tired of taking medicine all the time. I think it would be neat if you, Santa, could have your elves create a medicine called One-Puff. One puff of One-Puff and that’s it for the day. I bet this would make us more compliant too.

3. Allbetterol: In the early 1980s you gave us a medicine called Albuterol. Well, this type of medicine is great in that it helps us catch our breath right away. Still, when it doesn’t work, we have to pester doctors and make hospital visits. I think it would be great to have a medicine that would instantly make the asthma attack just go away for good. Then we can go on with our normal routine and not have to worry about dealing with doctors and hospitals all the time.

4. Trigger-B-Gone: Asthma triggers often force us asthmatics to make difficult changes in our lives. For instance, I love going to my dad’s cabin with the guys, but since dust-mites and molds in that place trigger my asthma, I have no choice but to avoid it. Well, if your elves could make a product called Trigger-B-Gone, we asthmatics wouldn’t be forced to make annoying changes in the way we live.

5. Do-Allolin: While most asthma medicines work to treat the symptoms of asthma, such as airway narrowing and swelling, Do-Allolin would literally block the asthma gene. So if your awesome elves could produce this medicine, two puffs-a-day of Do-Allolin and the asthma would be cured for a day. It may also cure allergies and eczema too, thus the name: Do-Allolin.

6. Remodolin: Some hard luck asthmatics have suffered from asthma so often they’ve actually developed airway remodeling. This makes treating and controlling their asthma more difficult. One puff of Remodolin before breakfast each day for 30 days and lungs will gradually – magically -- be re-modeled back to normal.

7. Allergy-B-Gone: Look, Santa, 75 percent of us asthmatics have allergies too, and in many cases the allergies (sniff-sniff) are almost worse than the asthma itself (achoo!). So, if Trigger-B-Gone or Do-Allolin aren’t in the cards, perhaps your elves can whip up a dose of Allergy-B-Gone to at least relieve us asthmatics of this miserable beast. Oh, and perhaps some of us might like a dose of Eczema-B-Gone too.

If you and your wonderful elves have the magic in you to make the above list of wishes come true, or any one wish, we asthmatics would greatly appreciate it.

Regardless, thank you and Merry Christmas! Rick Frea.

If you have an asthma wish for Santa, please share it in the comments below.

1 comment:

Kat said...

I could even compromise with santa and go for like TwoPuff, really once a day dosing would be enough of a Christmas gift, wouldn't want to be greedy.
Atopi-gone would also just get rid of the allergies, escema, asthma the whole nine yards :).